Reflections on Spontaneity* AND 153/365

Last year, I chose "spontaneity" as my word for 2011. So, as 2011 comes to a close, I find myself reflecting on how it went. I wanted to be able to be more spontaneous, to go with the flow a bit more, to not reactively say "no" to requests and opportunities quite so often. In no means did I expect to completely turn around what is--in part--personality and temperament. But I wanted to ease up a little.

So how did I do?

...Well, I dunno...

I'm not entirely sure that I was really any more truly spontaneous than I generally am. I can think of a circumstance where I was completely spontaneous, and as I alluded to last year, it "surprise[d] the pants off people." I can also think of a circumstance--realistically, a much less ambitious circumstance--that was a spontaneity FAIL; it took everything I had just to pull it together enough to participate. And this is about the norm for me.

That being said, I DO think I was able to go with the flow a little bit more this year, if only because I spent more time thinking the opportunity through. I'm not sure it qualifies as spontaneous anymore when one thinks it through, but in my world, this is the most realistic step forward.

I mentioned last year that the factors of energy, cost, and time play a big role in determining whether or not I can just change gears in my day and go ahead into something new. Instead of immediately letting my brain try and convince me that I don't have any of those things available, I have forced it to stop and think. Is there still a chance for down time elsewhere? Or that doesn't have to cost as much as you think it does. Or, what has become a bit of a mantra for me this year, what else were you really going to be doing instead? (Cuz sometimes the answer is 'nothing')

I also think God blessed me with more opportunities to knock some of those factors of the list so I don't even need to think about them. I was spoiled with a two-week tropical vacation back in April at a significantly reduced personal cost. And when you're on vacation, really, what else were you going to be doing instead? The same is true of this summer. The respite I did this summer was in small bursts of full days rather than short shifts every day, meaning that I had entire stretches of nothing, nothing, nothing on the schedule. Once I embraced this change from what I had been expecting, I was able to enjoy doing whatever came up.

The cost factor is often still a tricky one to work around. I can glean down time or energy elsewhere sometimes. Not so easy with something as concrete as money. That being said, I have started utilizing sites like Groupon, DealFind, etc., which--every now and then--bring up deals on something I actually need or was intending to buy. I either save money, earn extra air miles, or get more service for the price I regularly pay. It hasn't opened up the budget a ton, but just enough.

One more thing I have been teaching myself to do is put the Type A away. If someone has said they will contact me by a certain time, wait. If my brain wants details for something two weeks ahead of time, but I don't actually need that specific detail two weeks ahead of time, wait. There does come a point when I will need information to proceed on something. But I don't necessarily need all the information up front. I think my brain is slowly getting the message.

So. A little bit forward overall?

And on to 2012.

*I would just like it to be known that I am an excellent speller--take pride in being an excellent speller, even--but s-p-o-n-t-a-n-e-i-t-y gets me every time!

98/365

I was invited spontaneously to hang out with some friends and watch a movie this evening.

The spontaneity part was giving me a particularly hard time (and for no particularly good reason).

Solution: purchase comfort food for supper, (follow it up with wine), and enjoy the movie and the company.

Spontaneity for 2011

I was recently exploring the blog of Christine Kane, a musician and also mentor for women. I have not explored her whole site in depth, but came across a post she made a few years ago around this time about changing the way we look at New Year's Resolutions. As in, not having resolutions at all. Instead, she chooses a word that she allows to intentionally guide her through the year. She goes into more detail in her blog post as to how this way of entering the new year came about, and I think I like it. I don't necessarily set resolutions each new year. When I do, they tend to focus on a way I'd like to be rather than something I'd like to do, so I feel that choosing a word for 2011 is not too far-fetched from practices I already put into place each January. In fact, it might even give more focus than other, past, resolutions.

It didn't take me long to find a word for 2011, which I hope means I'm ready for the challenge. Spontaneity. To put it simply, I suck at being spontaneous. I'm an introverted, type A personality, which--in a nutshell--means I like to know what's going to happen and when, so that I know I have the energy to engage in it fully. So the ability to just drop what I'm doing and say, "sure, let's go for it!" is a rare occurrence.

On the plus side, when I have been completely spontaneous, it surprises the pants off people, which is kind of fun. But I think--overall--I'd like to be a little more care free and not have it be such a complete shock.

What is it about just letting go and doing things in the moment that seems so difficult?

• Energy -- whatever it is sounds like fun, but I don't know that I want to do it if I don't have the energy to enjoy it fully. As well, if I need energy for things later, how do I know this new activity's not going to suck out all my reserve?
• Cost -- I live on a tight budget. Depending on the cost of whatever this new activity is, I may now have to re-do all my math for other activities I want to pursue that week/month.
• Time -- I have other things on the go a lot of the time. Many are commitments that I can't just drop to make way for something new. And if I can make time, it still often means a mental re-shuffle of the sequence of events I'd originally had planned for that chunk of time. Sometimes that takes a lot of effort.

These are my stumbling blocks. When I am presented with an opportunity to be spontaneous, I look at all those factors. And it is often easier to turn down the activity or dig my heels in against a decision and stick with what is known, what is comfortable. I don't know that I will like X, Y, or Z, so why risk the energy, cost, and time, when I know that I will enjoy the already-planned A, B, and C?

But surely I can let go a little bit.

I don't know how this will look for 2011. I don't know where to start. And things like scheduled commitments and tight budgets aren't just going to go away. But there's got to be room for spontaneity. I'm ready for it.