SOTC 280/365

Or so I've been told. #DaringGreatly

SOTC 275/365

2017 in One Word OR SOTC 265/365

I started a new story. I spoke up for what I need. I let it go.  I listened with empathy. I had hard conversations. I found courage to try again. I asked for help. I offered help. I tried something new. I shared joy. I listened to my feelings. I voiced my feelings. I expressed my feelings. I acknowledged my mistakes. I forgave others. I forgave myself. I re-defined my boundaries. I lived in my integrity.

I chose

#IAmGrateful 29 (Also SOTC 262/365)

Weakness

You can interpret weakness however you want here. Faults. Mistakes. Imperfections. The things we just can't help, no matter how hard we try. Everything about us that's broken.

I've done battle with all of that this year, and to be honest, I would not say 'grateful' has been a go-to word to describe my feelings about any of it.

Sure, there is an understanding that our brokenness and imperfections are a part of this complex thing we call being human. And even acceptance that I will come face-to-face with them in life's arena sometimes.

But gratitude...?

...And yet...

I am grateful for my weaknesses--in a way. (I had to pause after typing that, just to make sure I believe my own words.) It's not the same... "flavour"... of gratitude I would ascribe to other facets of life. But, I do recognize that my flaws are a part of what make me who I am. Just as we often talk about how our stronger, more desirable attributes are unique to us, so are our imperfections. No one has the exact same combination of imperfections and broken pieces as me. And so as much as I hate them some days, as much as they leave me with my foot in my mouth, or overthinking things, or being completely oblivious to what's going on--I am still grateful for them. They keep me humble; they challenge me to grow; they help me recognize my strengths.

I am also grateful for those who love me--flawed and broken and all. Those who think I'm worth it not despite my imperfections and weaknesses, but with them and because of them.

#IAmGrateful 17

Health

For a strong, healthy body,
a resilient, healthy mind,
and a fierce, healthy heart.

Quiet and Contemplative AND 188/365

Our Theologizers group wanted a retreat weekend, where we could gather in friendship and fellowship outside of our bi-monthly Wednesday nights. To lay aside the intellectual book we were discussing, and just BE with each other in a more casual atmosphere. As a result, this entire weekend was spent at King's Fold Retreat Centre near Cochrane, Alberta. And we actually were on retreat.

Our agenda delineated the meal times of the centre, a sunrise chapel service Sunday morning, and that was all that was set in stone (or, more accurately, set in pixel--the agenda was e-mailed as a .PNG). S's remark after the staff had introduced us to the building was, "go do what you want."

And it was SO lovely. I'd say we couldn't have picked a better weekend, but really, we couldn't have been blessed with a better weekend. It got up to 12C (53F) on Saturday, and not a cloud in the sky! I spent the majority of my day outdoors. Right after breakfast, I took some pictures of the view, and then just sat and enjoyed it. The air was fresh, the sun was warm, the view was simultaneously majestic and peaceful.

Partway through the morning, I did venture over to the centre's solarium. It used to be a greenhouse outright, but was converted into a warm sunroom for people to take in the view from an indoor space. The solarium encourages quiet reflection, and artistic creation; there is an art centre set up at the back. I decided to try my hand at a different art medium than my familiar photography; watercolour. My mom has experimented with watercolour in the last several years; I figured perhaps I might have some natural skill in this more than the pencil crayons and pastels that were also available. I kept the art piece simple--the mantra, "stick with what you know" reigning over the piece. I know I love my reds. I know these mountains and its wilderness. And I know sunsets. All in all, I was impressed at my own skill for my first watercolour. I did try a smaller, second piece, but I don't like it as much. Still, I think that if I ever wanted to get into it, I'd probably do all right with watercolour.

After lunch, a group of us were enthusiastic about hiking down to the valley and walking along the shallow river. I had shed my winter clothing by this point, and found myself reflecting that this winter hike in February was warmer than a similar hike I'd taken with friends when backpacking one summer in August. Only in Alberta.

Upon return from the hike, there was still a significant chunk of time before supper. I walked the centre's labyrinth. I sat on the bench swing and read more of my new book. I took more pictures. I pet the cat.


Supper fed us well (every meal fed us well), and by that time, the sun had disappeared behind the mountain. I sat around the campfire until I started to feel cold for the first time that day, and then retreated back indoors to continue reading quietly until I was tired enough for sleep.

Retreat, indeed. :)