Pura Vida

"Pura Vida...it's Costa Rica's slogan, as well as being a way of life. The direct translation is "pure life" but it's so much more than that. It's living the good life...cherishing simple pleasures...spending time with loved ones...and enjoying a slow, relaxed pace of life." 

- John Michael Arthur

Pura Vida is a phrase I heard or said myself several times daily in the beautiful country of Costa Rica, where I just recently returned from after two weeks' vacation. Costa Rica has been on my “must see” list of places to go for several years. Warm, tropical, known for being eco-conscious, lots of flora and fauna to photograph… It had been over 10 years since my last tropical vacation, and it felt very overdue!

One highlight of this particular holiday was how thoroughly I was able to enjoy it, physically as well as emotionally. I enjoyed the company of good friends, watched the sunset on the beach every evening, ate nearly every meal outside, floated in the pool with a good book, won a card game or two...

Balancing out the gentle, unhurried pace, were also a variety of activities for the senses, including:

• Climbing hills and/or stairs daily
• Navigating a 13-cable zip line course
• Hiking through a wildlife sanctuary
• Swimming in the ocean
• Walking through the neighbourhood
• Walking along the beach
• A 60-min yoga class

As well as the sights, sounds, and smells of a foreign country; all in 30°C+ temperatures; none of which required so much as a nap afterwards.

This would have been a very different trip even a year ago. There would have been resting the full day before and after any activity, and lots of negotiating with myself about which activities might be ‘worth’ that.* I would not have done nearly as much sight-seeing. Just the daily trekking around in the golf cart (our rented mode of transportation) would have been enough of a sensory experience to tire my brain and body for the remainder of the day.

Instead, I was able to enjoy every aspect of my holiday, fully present through it all.

I am SO proud of my nervous system, and I’m proud of myself as well. I’ve done a lot of work to get to this point.

The view from my bedroom balcony
where I did my brain retraining
each day

I continued my brain retraining practices each day in Costa Rica—delighting in the ability to do my 'rounds' entirely outdoors! After 8 months, my rounds have become as routine as many people find the gym.

Now that I’m past the 6-month mark, I’ve been playing with the frequency of my rounds, weaving back in more of the other practices I’m familiar with and have come to enjoy (e.g. yoga, breathing exercises, meditation). At the very least, however, I’m finding my rounds are a nice way to start and end my day.

Especially with palm trees as my backdrop and tropical birds as my soundtrack.

My first spark of hope with my recovery came last summer when, just two weeks into my brain retraining, I realized I hadn’t needed a nap in several days. As I regain the ability to do more and more of the things I love well--like travel--my hope grows. When I have hiccups, I know they’ll pass; and, they are fewer and farther in between.

I was fortunate enough to vacation in the Nosara area, which is on the west coast of the Nicoya Peninsula, one of the world's Blue Zones. Immersed in sunshine, ocean waves, and tropical jungle, it's not hard to see why it's a Blue Zone. This vacation was not just a boost to my nervous system, but a boost to my spirit as well.

Pura vida.

*There is a huge difference between resting because I want to, and resting because I have to.

Advent

It was as I sat watching the first Advent candle being lit in church, that I decided I wanted my own advent wreath. It’s not something I’ve ever really been into, and it’s not something we had in our family growing up. But suddenly, I wanted one.

Here’s the thing, though. With my ME/CFS diagnosis, my nervous system is hyper-sensitive, and prone to inflammation from things that other people’s bodies don’t even pay attention to.

Chemical sensitivities are almost always an issue for people with ME/CFS, and I noticed this in myself over the last few years. I am keenly aware of odours, and I can get overwhelmed by fragrances quickly, even if they’re natural, like essential oils.

Suffice it to say, my home has become a scent-free and paraffin-free household. I always purchase a couple beeswax candles wherever I find them, but it turns out the purple and pink of Advent are hard to come by—well, after Advent has already started, anyway.

So, while I knew I wanted an advent wreath with candles, I also knew that, like everything else, I was going to have to improvise and make my own.

The wreath was the easiest part. Then, I managed to find some plain votive holders at Michael’s — you’d think these would be ubiquitous this time of year, but no. And lastly, the candles. The DIY kit arrived from Amazon just a few days ago.

We are on the fourth Sunday of advent, and here I am, lighting my wreath for the first time.

But for now: hope, love, joy, and peace—I will take them all. And because it is also the first night of Chanukah, I used the shamesh to light the advent candles—because Chanukah reminds us of miracles, and I’ll take a few of those too 😉

SOTC 264/365

Can We Quit Losing Our $#!*& Over Holiday Greetings?!

I'm Christian. So I celebrate Christmas. If you ask me for the definition of Christmas, I will tell you that it's a celebration of the day Jesus Christ was born into this world.¹ I will tell you it's an important day for me and other believers, because we believe that Jesus was born into this world as our Lord and Saviour. I believe Jesus is God, born in human form. To a virgin. In a barn. Fully human and fully divine. That's my faith. And so I celebrate Christmas. And therefore often greet others with, "Merry Christmas!"

To be honest, I do wonder a bit at the masses of people who choose to say they celebrate Christmas when they don't believe any part of its definition. I mean, if you don't believe in Jesus, and therefore have no reason to honour his birthday, then why do you say you celebrate Christmas? I do wish people would be accurate in defining the holiday they believe in and celebrate.

But outside of that semantic detail, I actually have no issue with whatever holiday that is.

I'm not offended if you tell me Happy Hannukah.
I'm not offended if you wish me Happy Diwali.
I'm not offended with a Happy Solstice.
Or Happy Kwanzaa.
And I'm not offended if you greet me with Happy Holidays.

A lot of different celebrations happen at this time of year. I don't know the origins of all winter celebrations, but good grief--Jesus' birthday isn't even in December; we just piggy-backed the timing on a pagan solstice holiday that already existed³. So who am I to get all up in your celebrations?!

As near as I can tell, all these winter celebrations are about peace.

All these celebrations embrace light.

All these celebrations encourage giving.

All these celebrations mean joy!

And lastly, all these celebrations come from a practice of love.

So if we⁴ are getting our tinsel in such a tangle over what celebration others are sharing with us, that we can't see the intention behind their greeting, then we've missed the point entirely. And worse, we become hypocrites of our own faith. It IS possible to have a strong faith--live it, breathe it, maybe even preach it--without passing judgement on the faiths of others.

In the office small-talk, in the checkout line at the supermarket, or in the parking lot at the mall, I can't tell, just by looking, what you celebrate, any more than you can tell what I celebrate. That being said, when you wish me Happy Holidays, know that I'm not one of those people who will then try and correct your greeting by explaining what 'one' faith this time of year is 'really' about. December is not the time for theological debate. From me, your greeting can be guaranteed a response of, "thanks, you too!"

And all I ask is the same in return.





1 As supported by the following:
dictionary.com - the festival of the Christian church commemorating the birth of Jesus.
merriam-webster.com - a Christian holiday that is celebrated on December 25 in honor of the birth of Jesus Christ
thefreedictionary.com - A Christian feast commemorating the birth of Jesus.
wikipedia.com - annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ.

2 Which, to be fair, means I should really decorate a palm tree each year, because it would be a more accurate reflection of a true "Christmas" tree. Decorating an evergreen is more in line with celebrating the Solstice.

3 Hear that, fellow Christians? Jesus is not the original reason for the season. He's just the reason for ours.

4 Not 'we' as Christians, but 'we' as society--all faiths are guilty of slamming other faiths at this time of year.

Pink Poinsettia (SOTC 81/365)

In Loco Parentis

Several years ago (how is it several already?), N&S took then-infant A with them to the Angelman Syndrome conference in Whistler, BC, leaving me in charge of P&S for five days. I had the help of other respite providers and grandparents, but I was the main provider during N&S's time away.

I learned a lot of things about myself as a care provider that week. Respite in it's overnight, more long-term form is qualitatively different than short shifts a couple times per week, or even the natural routines I participate in now when I visit for an Aunty Gina weekend.

This past week, the other 'aunty', C, and I hung out with P in Saskatoon, providing respite, while the rest of the family took a much-deserved holiday in Maui*. I was very excited to spend my holiday time with my niece in this capacity.

The week was such a delight in so many ways.

• I enjoyed knowing that I had become so comfortable and familiar with Saskatoon--my second-home-city--that I could navigate to many spots without the aid of Google Maps. And as N said, "you know a place is starting to feel like home when you're running errands in it."
• I loved sitting out in "the Oasis" that is their back yard, sipping my morning coffee on the deck swing, and listening to the fountain trickle down into the koi pond. Don't get me wrong, I love my own back yard to bits, but theirs is no ordinary back yard.
• I loved having uninterrupted time with P. S&A are a delight to my heart, but it sometimes means that P becomes relegated to the background of activities.
• The weather--for the most part--was gorgeous. It meant sunny strolls, outdoor swims and water slides, bubbles in the back yard paddling pool, and many a meal in the late afternoon sun. Summer bliss.
• P's laughter is contagious like nothing else.
• My partner in crime this week, C, is a close friend, but we often have differing schedules that limit the time we get to hang out in Edmonton. So it was great to have uninterrupted time with her, as well. Plus, we make a great caregiving team together.

The week has also been a powerful learning experience, yet again. Among the sunshiney bliss of summer activities with my favourite twelve-year-old, this week has:

• Affirmed the value of two-parent families. By this, I don't mean to say that single-parenting isn't valuable or doesn't work--I am not undermining that dynamic at all. Quite the opposite, actually. Raising children is quite the task. Several times, C and I talked in awe of how N does it on her own when S is out of town on business for up to a week at a time. Where's the other adult to talk to? To share the load? To share the giggles? To give you a break? To help keep a sense of humour and a level head on the days when the diaper explodes, the child has pulled your hair half a dozen times, is refusing breakfast, and two loads of laundry have been washed and dried, all before 9:30am?** Single parents--especially those of children with disabilities--are my new heroes. I'm sure I could have done this week on my own. But certainly not as well. And I wouldn't have really wanted to.
• Re-iterated the necessity of subsidized respite for parents of children with special needs. Between home care and respite, N&S had something like 90hrs of funded care per month for P when they lived in Alberta, where respite hours are based on need.*** In Saskatchewan, respite is based on income. Given the relative affluence afforded by S's job, the family does not qualify for funded respite hours. While I appreciate that this approach attempts to ensure that families who struggle financially can still receive the care they need for their child, I have also worked with enough families to know that just because you make more money does not mean you need less help; nor does it mean you have the ability to pay out of pocket for the full amount of help you actually need.
• Made me appreciate even more this time of being single. Somewhere in the last couple of years, I recognized that I really am at true peace with being single in a world where marriage-house-children is still the expected path for women in their pre and peri-thirties. Perhaps I will be single for another year, another decade, or the rest of my life. I am okay with any and all of that. I have enough trouble brushing my own teeth every day. Perhaps I don't need to be responsible for brushing someone else's.
• Given me pause to consider the honour of being trusted to care for a child in this capacity. There are only so many people in a parent's world who they would consider to care for their child for a week. I feel as if that circle of people is narrowed when the child has a disability. I know I am aunty. I know I am considered family. But that doesn't mean I am not humbled yet again that I was trusted with one of their most precious people.

P often involves a lot of physical work and intuitive guessing. Paired with the right person, the right activities, and a space to balance that activity with rest, it makes for a lovely week--one I would do again in a heart beat.

* For those of you whose spidey inclusion senses are tingling as you read that, please put your judgement away. This family's story means that leaving P in Saskatoon on this particular vacation was a more meaningfully inclusive decision for the whole family than taking her with.
** That was Day 5.
*** The term 'need' sometimes being assessed a bit too conservatively by individuals unable to step into parents' shoes, but by 'need' nevertheless...

SOTC 42/365

Sandcastles.
Snorkeling.
Sunshine.

SOTC 41/365

Land-locked most days of the year, we kick off our sandals, dig our toes into the soft grain, then take off down the beach.

The sun is setting, we sprint towards it, towards the glow, kicking up sand behind our steps.

We stop at a place where there is no one else around. We dip our toes in the water. It's still warm; it's always warm.

Cool sand beneath our toes.
Waves crashing rhythmically in our ears.
A golden yellow glow on the horizon.
Soft air moving through our hair.

Tomorrow there will be sandcastles.
There will be snorkeling.
There will be sunshine.

This evening, it is enough to just breathe and take it in. 

347/365

How is it that I haven't had my first ice cream cone until the day before I'm going home?

341/365

We have landed in Victoria! After getting the rental vehicles sorted and organized, we thought it would be nice to stop for a late lunch and tour of The Butchart Gardens before embarking on the two-hour drive to our condo in Qualicum.

The gardens were a-MAZ-ing! Freshness and vibrant colours everywhere. I can't even imagine the meticulous planning that went into the creation of the grounds, nor the level of maintenance required to keep it manicured and gorgeous. Still, every flower and green shrubbery looks like it just bloomed naturally where it was. The transition from one garden to another was virtually seamless.

I especially enjoyed the columns of sweet peas. Their fragrance was noticeable before you even approached them. It was all I could do not to climb in and permanently wrap myself in their scent!

Each flower was so unique! There were many I was familiar with, on some level, and others I had never seen the likes of before. Even the greenery was amazing. Leaves in a variety of sizes, shapes, and textures. Everything surrounding you was just so fresh and alive! 


I think one could take an entire day to marvel at these more delicate of God's creations. Still, the afternoon we spent there was thoroughly satisfying to the senses!

249/365

A toast to the blessing of food, family, and fun this Easter weekend.

This Little Light OR 132/365

What a lovely evening for some outdoor winter photography. Night time photography in the winter in Canada is a process. Clothing must be layered. Spare batteries must be kept close to the body to stay warm and functional. Fingers must be kept warm but still have enough dexterity to manipulate buttons. It could be -30C or -3C, and you won't actually know 'til you get there!

Tonight was more on the -3C side of things, for which I was very thankful.

For the first time since living in Edmonton, I drove down to the surrounding town of Devon to take in the Devonian Botanical Gardens' yearly Luminaria display. Thousands of paper lanterns line the paths of the gardens; it is absolutely beautiful.

Upon entering the gardens, I simply stood for a minute to take it all in. The trail right in front of me went forward, and then dipped, and split into multiple trails, winding around a pond, over a bridge, and up past a Japanese gazebo.

I stopped once or twice in each section of trail to take pictures, as well as at several of the campfires to keep my fingers warm along the way! I spent two hours listening to the crunching of snow under many footsteps, the voices of carolers, and Christmas-spirited buzz* of other people taking in the surroundings.

Overall, a beautiful reminder of the Light that is so much a part of this holiday season, and the peace it brings to those who gather around it in community.

"We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own."

-- Ben Sweetland

*With the exception of the one child I heard pass by and declare, "You said there would be fun here, but there's not!"

119/365

114/365

Well, that was definitely a process I hope gets easier with practice.

Christmas Reflection

Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ, who is Emmanuel--God with us. God came down in human form so that He could have an active relationship with His children--us. The wonder and mystery surrounding this moves me on and off throughout the year, but especially at Christmas.

"Every religion in the world is about man trying to reach up to God, like working your way up the ladder. They’re all about striving to achieve something for yourself. Christianity is the only religion about God reaching down to man and offering salvation as a free gift, with the added bonus of a personal relationship with the Creator God through Jesus Christ, who was there in the beginning." -- Francine Rivers

"Life takes a little bit of time, and a lot of relationship." -- William Paul Young

May your 2010 be rich with relationship and God's blessings and peace. Merry Christmas!

Christmas Holidays, Day 1

So, this is what my agenda has looked like so far today:

• 8:30 -- Get up.
• 9:30 -- Go spend time with the 'kidlets'; get offered breakfast and an egg nog latte within half an hour of arriving. Hang out at the museum.
• 1:15 -- Return home.
• 1:45 -- Have lunch.
• 2:00 -- Putz around on the computer.
• 3:20 -- Nap (with cat).
  
• 4:00 -- Rouse; more computer putzing.
• 6:00 -- Eat supper.
• 6:30 -- Listen to Stuart McLean on CD while cleaning my room and kitchen.
  

Oh, the casual pace of holidays! I currently have a cat on each side of me as I type (have laptop, will cozy on the couch) who have fully accepted this new pace and have spent most of the day horizontal on the couch. Well, really, this could be what they do every day, and I wouldn't know it. But I like to think their routine sometimes matches my own when I'm home.

I was thinking earlier today of the first day of holidays when I was done school for the semester. In my freshman year, I had been required to stay right until the end of exam week given my exam schedule. Not surprisingly, once home I looked forward to the opportunity to sleep in.

My first day home happened to be the winter solstice (like today). I had been sleeping ever so soundly when my dad came in and woke me up by jostling my mattress. My parents were generally pretty good about letting me sleep in when I had nothing to be up for, so I knew that if I was being woken up, I must have definitely been sleeping in late. I rolled over and looked at the clock; it was around noon. I groaned and pulled the blanket back over my head. "Get up!" my dad stated, "it's the shortest day of the year, and you've slept through half of it!"

It's been a long time since I've been able to sleep in quite that late. I occasionally manage 11am, but those are usually the result of a 2am bedtime the night before. As I have gotten older (sigh, older, guh), I generally greet the day between 9:30 and 10:30 on weekends and holidays. It's still glorious. I will take advantage of this part of being single!

So realistically, given it is just after 8:30pm, the night is still very young. I will very likely listen to at least one more Vinyl Cafe story. Maybe two. At some point, though, I'm going out. JM wants to go night sledding--I think JP is coming, too. And when I look at tomorrow's agenda--which could play out pretty darn close to today's if I want it to--I think, "why not?" ...So I'm going sledding!